God & Family: Who’s Up First?

Balancing church and family responsibilities is a reason Paul cautioned wannabe pastors in Corinth about getting married.

Depending on the source you’re reading, there are varying views about divorce rates among couples who profess to be Christ-followers. The rates are either growing at the same rate as non-believers, greater than that rate, declining from that rate, or were never as high.

Assorted denominations have particular perspectives whether couples should divorce and what roles those who do divorce should have in Christian ministry, particularly leadership positions.  Whatever the numbers, whatever your opinion, these facts remain:

  • children of God divorce;
  • they have done so since the time of Moses;
  • divorce is not God’s desire.

Of the numerous verses in Scripture about divorce, the best perspective is Matthew’s gospel account of Jesus’ conversation with Pharisees.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

(Yes, we switched from the New International to the King James for the last verse for readers who may have heard the words at weddings yet didn’t realize these are the words of Christ, not just the preacher.)

The salient exchange is this:

 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.”

The question 20 centuries later, then, is, “What causes hearts of married couples to become hardened today?”  Moreover, “How do Christian couples become hardened?” For our purposes, one more reflection: “What happens if one of those hardened Christian spouses is a pastor?”

Divorce Certificate Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Keep these questions in mind when listening to Family Priorities, today’s audio installment from “Who Prays for the Pastor?” In this segment, author Frederick Ezeji-Okoye recounts the testimony of a pastor whose zeal for evangelizing produced fruit, not all of which was sweet.

Before you start, discuss or journal about the following:

  • What does the phrase “God-First Ministry” mean to you?
  • What does Family-First Ministry mean?

Pray for the health of your pastor’s marriage as you hear the following testimony.  Ask God to improve communication between both spouses and their offspring.

LISTEN TO THE 1-MINUTE AUDIO DEVOTIONAL

“Family Priorities”

Spreaker: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/14803153

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/michaelmyers-4/who-prays-for-the

FOR FURTHER STUDY

Download the Free Devotional Discussion Guide

Look into Kingdom Impact Theater Ministries Leadership Workshops

  • “Practicing What Is Preached:” Steps to apply weekend sermons to daily communication.
  • “The Roscoe P. Love Love Clinic:” Practical relationship communication for men, for women; couples, singles; adults, teens.

For maximum, on-going impact, we recommend purchasing the paperback or the audiobook, or both.  Each is available at amazon.com.


This essay is one in a series of devotionals on coping with stress in ministry, and is based on the book, “Who Prays for the Pastor?” written by Bro. Frederick Ezeji-Okoye.  The accompanying discussion guide was written by Michael Edgar Myers, who also narrated the audiobook and 1-minute devotional excerpts. If you have any difficulties accessing the material, please e-mail mem@kit-ministries.com.  Thank you.

#SDG #Shalom #AndAmen

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Pastors and Stress

Among the teaching in his first letter to the church at Corinth, the apostle Paul gave what some Bible translations subtitle, “Concerns for Married Life.” Included in the passage in chapter seven, Paul speaks to pastors…or would-be pastors, with an admonition summarized here by the late Eugene Peterson in his paraphrase, “The Message.”

“Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are. Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married. But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.”

Peterson and Paul’s perspective is the backdrop for this sequence of audio and written reflections based on the book, “Who Prays for the Pastor?” by Frederick Ezeji-Okoye, founder of the Men of Faith Network. Ezeji-Okoye’s book goes into depth about the pressures pastors (and other ministry leaders) encounter from their work, their ministries, their families, themselves.  More than recount them, he offers suggestions in overcoming them.

It was our pleasure to provide the narration for the audiobook companion to this narrative.  We have edited four segments into one-minute reflections and added our own questions and reflections for discussion points between pastors and their families.

  • Family Priorities
  • Lost Commitment
  • Self-Reflection
  • Peace At Home

These brief devotions will be published one-by-one in subsequent days at no cost.  As they are published, take time to ponder the preview thought questions, listen to the narrative from the book, then reflect and discuss the follow-up questions, action points and prayer.

As a prelude to these essays, you may learn more about the pressures of which Paul and Ezeji-Okoye speak, review the following resources:

Also consider visiting Amazon to purchase “Who Prays for the Pastor?”  in print, downloadable audio, or Kindle rental.

However, more than looking at the data and testimonies, take to heart the principle of the book and devotionals and pray for your pastor.  This would be an on-going gift growing out of Pastor Appreciation Month.